it figures

I have been really unhappy with myself lately. I know I am not healthy and need to make some changes. I decided today to do something about it. I decided to lay off carbs and sugar.....they are my enemy. My downfall...my kryptonite if you know what I mean. And in addition to that I cleaned out my exercise room. By myself. You see it has been acting as a storage unit since the great flood of may 2015. I asked my hubby to make sure I get up at 6 am so I can spend some time in there. My least favorite time of the day.....but I need this. Do you know what he said? Well if your gonna get up at 6 then I will do my workouts after I get home from work........now I love my hubby with all my heart. I adore him......he is my bestie....he is my favorite person ever!!!!! But...yes there is a but. I do not like losing weight with him. The man drops weight like crazy. It is so easy for him..it's like he says...oh I stopped drinking soda this week and worked out and lost 10 pounds this week. It makes me so jealous because that just does not happen for me. I wanted to do this for me...my thing....and now I am going to judge my success off his and feel like a failure. I hate that I do this but I do and I can't help it. I wanted to do this kinda in secret to avoid this whole situation because I feared it happening and it did. I know I am a brat. Things just seem so easy for him and hard for me. He falls asleep in one minute...it take me hours with a sleeping pill. He drops weight fast.....it clings to me for dear life. I just can't catch a break. I am going to work on this. I am trying.